Gratitude

I awake very early in the morning

before four o clock but not before the chickens start crowing

My thoughts burst to life, a bitter bud blooming.

tumbled worries and needs and dreads.

Please Lord. If only Lord. If you wouldn’t mind Lord.

I need Lord. I want Lord. I demand in your name Lord. Let it be done.

This is crazy. To wake up in this troubled frenzy and wail my whinges and woes to the Lord.

Not even waiting for an answer

Not even saying good morning!

Cobbling together half frenzied solutions and feeling the dawn of panic arrive in the dawn of calm.

What about a prayer of gratitude says a calm voice in my busy, busy head.

Gratitude. In this troubled country? With all my needy needs?

Gratitude!

Thank you Lord for the dripping rain and the wet feathers of the bedraggled chickens, indicating a night of soaking drizzle.

Thank you Lord, for the man sleeping peacefully beside me. No one could have been happier these thirty three years of marriage than I have been.

Thank you Lord for my wonderful children, all different, all unique , sometimes puzzling, sometimes troubling but my heart is overwhelmed with joy when I see them. That must be cause for gratitude.

My wonderful parents. My two mothers and my dear father. Surely so much love and support for a whole lifetime must be worthy of gratitude.

And my good friends and family, Always the same. Always a welcome. To pick up stories which we left off a year before or ten years before and just continue laughingly with the conversation.

I am feeling the gratitude now Lord. The big worries are much littler. So much evidence of your hand on me over the years. Why was I so afraid.

My mind flits over the blessings. A child’s Christmas stocking full of blessings. With an advent calender of blessings on the side. Too numerous to count. My green glowing farm. The work I love. My funny furry pets. Hot aromatic coffee. Melty buttered toast. Moon rise, Silvery stars shining on us all wherever we go. A symbol of how you bind people together so we are never alone.

I feel so much Gratitude.

Thank you Father.

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